458:Donna's Rocky Horror Picture Show
by mary.okeeffe.16
Summary: On another maiden voyage, Captain Justice and Chamberlain watch their film version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is another MST3K style story.
1. Movie Time on Sly Star One

On Sly Star One, Chamberlain and Captain Justice were both looking through their mail when they got a DVD that says, "Rocky Horror Show: Solo Edition"

"That's based on that Earth project by Richard O'Brien." Captain Justice said.

"Isn't he the man who also wrote Earth's, "The Crystal Maze"?" Chamberlain asked.

"He is," Captain Justice said, "And here's a note from Cadet Solo."

 _Dear Isoclotes Justinimo,_

 _Last November, the people at the underground hospital have been working on a film based on The Rocky Horror Picture Show_

 _Rocket had already uploaded it on his Spacetube and Frighttube page_

 _Also, we wanted you guys to have an exclusive film_

 _Since you might have children present on the boat, we made it a kiddie version of the film._

 _Jyn and Cass agreed to do it, just as long as they don't get it out of control._

 _You know doctors and restaurant managers, they're trying to run a business._

 _So grab some space popcorn and enjoy this production_

 _Sincerely, Donna Solo_

They looked at the cast list to see who's in the show.

 **Riff Raff- Michael**

 **Magenta- Donna/Director.**

 **Columbia- Emma**

 **Brad Majors- Cassian Andor**

 **Janet Weiss- Jyn Erso-Andor**

 **Dr. Frank N Furter- Jantrice Lounlevrn**

 **Eddie- Aiden**

 **Rocky- Caleb**

 **Payton- Trixie**

 **Narrator/Criminologist- Rocky**

 **Dr. Scott- Bodhi Rook**

 **Butler- Toshiro**

 **Ralph Hapschatt- Wade**

 **Betty Hapschatt-Munroe- Samantha**

 **Photographer- Helen**

 **Alien dancers- Aliens of the Rocheux Academy of Dance on Athenia.**

"Jantrice is in the production?" Chamberlain asked.

"And no worry" Captain Justice said, "She said that they made it kid friendly. Let's watch it, to see how kid friendly can it be."

 **Note: Rocheux is French for Rocky.**


	2. Rocky Horror

**The movie begins with Payton singing the opening number.**

 _But he told us where we stand_

 _And Flash Gordon was there in silver underwear_

 _Claude Rains was the invisible man_

 _Then something went wrong for Faye Wray and King Kong_

 _They got caught in a celluloid jam_

 _Then at a deadly pace, it came from outer space_

 _And this is how the message ran_

"Payton does know how to sing," said Otto

"Otto" Gibson whispered, "Don't interrupt."

 _Science fiction, double feature_

 _Doctor X will build a creature_

 _See androids fighting Brad and Janet_

 _Anne Francis stars in Forbidden Planet_

 _Whoa oh oh oh-oh_

 _At the late night double feature picture show_

 **At a church in 1974, newly engaged couple Brad and Janet were attending a wedding. The blushing bride tossed the bouquet and Janet caught it.**

 _ **Wait to go Janet.**_

 _ **Nice catch**_

 _ **Thank you, Lads.**_

 **Brad decided to take his beloved out for a spin.**

 ** _What a perfect day for a drive_**

 **As they were driving along minding their own business. Janet noticed something.**

"Wait" Chamberlain shouted, "This isn't how the story goes?"

"Cadet Solo told me that, "It All Depends On How You Look At It"

 ** _What's that over there_**

 ** _You mean the petunia patch_**

 ** _No, not the petunia patch Janet. They horrible house on that haunted hill._**

 ** _Why that's just the house, nobody ever comes here anymore_**

 **Brad and Janet walked out to check to see. They walked by a sign that says, "Annual Translvanian Convention"**

 ** _Beware_**

 **A gardener tending the petunia patch came up to them**

 ** _Anyone who goes into the house, never, ever comes out_**

 ** _Enough, your frightening Janet._**

 **Inside the house, they were greeted by the doorman, "Riff Raff".**

 _ **Hola, we were wondering if you got a phone here.**_

 ** _A phone, a phone you say._**

"Now you're getting it all wrong" Chamberlain shouted,

"Chamby" Sparx shouted, "Cass is doing a good job, don't interrupt."

 ** _Listen, if we could just use your phone. We'll move right along._**

 _ **Yours arrived here on this special night, the mater is having one of her affairs.**_

 _ **Affairs**_

 _ **That's right, affairs**_

 **Magenta comes in cleaning up the place.**

 ** _She's lucky, I'm lucky. We're all lucky._**

"Here comes the song every Rocky Horror fan knows." Antauri said.

 _It's astounding_

 _Time is fleeting_

 _Madness takes its toll_

 _But listen closely_

 _Not for very much longer_

 _I've got to keep control_

 _I remember doing the Time Warp_

 _Drinking those moments when_

 _The blackness would hit me_

 _And a void would be calling_

 _Let's do the Time Warp again_

 _Let's do the Time Warp again_

 _It's just a jump to the left_

 _And then a step to the right_

 _With your hands on your hips_

 _You bring your knees in tight_

 _But it's the pelvic thrust_

 _That really drives you insane_

 _Let's do the Time Warp again_

 _Let's do the Time Warp again_

"Now that's a dance party" Nova said.

 ** _After a little dancing, the dancers fell straight onto the floor, which Brad and Janet found strange. Then out of nowhere, A woman with pink hair and sexy clothing came in._**

 _How do you do, I_

 _See you've met my_

 _Faithful handyman_

 _He's just a little brought down because_

 _When you knocked_

 _He thought you were the candyman_

 _Don't get strung out by the way I look_

 _Don't judge a book by its cover_

 _I'm not much of a man by the light of day_

 _But by night I'm one heck of a lover_

 _I'm just a sweet transvestite_

 _From Transexual, Transylvania_

 **Note: The beginning is a nod to The Curse of The Cannibal Ghost on the Haunted House on Horror Hill from Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends.**


End file.
